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You have found the one: a woman with sharp wits, a kind heart, and a beautiful face and body. The chemistry is through the roof, but one thing’s amiss.
The moment you bring her to the bedroom, you both come upon a near-unresolvable realization: you both have totally different sexual needs.
Sex and libido is something that differs from person to person. Some people enjoy the idea of having sexual intercourse multiple times a week, whereas others can only stomach sex once or twice a month.
If you’re in a loving romantic relationship, sex is something that’s inevitably a topic you’ll have to tread on.
Some couples are blessed with compatibility from the get-go, leading to sexual and relationship satisfaction.
That said, not everyone is as blessed with a compatible sexual relationship.
Some would find sexual incompatibility a dealbreaker, whereas others find their relationship with the person is worth fighting for despite low sexual satisfaction.
If you fall in the latter category, that is, if your sex life is unsatisfactory because of a discrepancy in sexual desire, this article will gloss over ways you can overcome it.
We’ll also touch upon what this incompatibility is all about in the first place.
What is Sexual Desire Incompatibility?
Sexual desire incompatibility refers to differing sexual needs among couples.
The term “couple” in this scenario refers to any sexual partners, whether they’re a one-time partner of fully-committed, wedded partners.
Sexual desire incompatibility typically covers different aspects of sexuality. One major distinction that couples struggle with is the frequency of sexual contact.
For instance, one partner could want to engage in sexual intercourse daily, while the other partner finds a twice a month scheme more optimal.
In this situation, it’s hard for partners to find an agreeable balance without compromising their own suitable frequency.
It can also mean differences in preferences and kinks, with one partner wanting to explore specific kinks and positions while the other partner being more rigid with a specific sexual setup.
If there are irreconcilable differences in the sexual needs of both partners, this is a sign of sexual desire incompatibility.
Sexual chemistry is essential for overall compatibility. If there’s an irreparable difference in desires, it could lead to a significant relationship strain.
This, in turn, could lead to feelings of frustration, disappointment, and anger towards the other person—which are signs of a bad relationship.
If you’re starting to feel emotionally distant from your partner, it’s important to tackle these differences maturely and with patience.
This is to promote harmony and hopefully settle on a compromise on the status of the relationship.
What to Do to Overcome Different Levels of Sexual Desire
Living with incompatibility can be a big hurdle, especially if you both genuinely love each other.
Instead of looking at it through a problem-solving lens, it’s important to approach this situation gently and openly. Sexual compatibility exists in a continuum and can change over time, so don’t feel all hope is lost.
Here are some ways you can reconcile your sexual incompatibility as a couple.
1. Explore Other Means of Pleasure
Sex isn’t the end-all, be-all of physical intimacy. There are other ways you can show your love to your partner and enjoy mutual satisfaction.
One effective way is to perform sensual massages to your partner. Couples find positive massage as a potent way to relax and destress over a mutually satisfying activity. This is because it involves pleasurable touch and quality time—which are also similar properties of sexual intimacy.
Another way to show physical intimacy is to cuddle. Cuddling can improve the bond and convey signals of care and protection, which can enrich the relationship even without sexual activities.
You can also engage in other romantic intimate activities, such as slow dancing and kissing each other. This can help put both parties at ease and find pleasure despite the absence of sexual behavior.
2. Treat Conditions Causing Low Libido
While variances in libido are normal, suddenly developing a loss of libido may be a sign of underlying health problems. This is especially true among older people, as this demographic is susceptible to health risks that may interfere with their sexual functioning.
Many health risks can cause a decrease in sexual pleasure.
A few common ones include:
- Hormonal imbalances
- Performance anxiety
- Erectile dysfunction
Besides that, having rifts in the relationship can also cause situational libido loss. So if you and your partner aren’t getting along, it’s time to address the root cause of it through honest communication.
And for your information, vasectomies don’t cause libido loss.
3. Schedule Periods of Intimacy
One of the most effective ways to compromise a difference in sexual desire is by scheduling sex. This involves setting a specific time and date for sex, which can help reduce pressure and manage expectations.
Having a schedule for sex helps both partners mentally and emotionally prepare for the event, which can foster a sense of anticipation and excitement for both members.
It helps reduce the more sexual person’s anxiety about a lack of sex while simultaneously helping the less sexual person mentally prepare for it. This, in turn, helps both partners feel respected and connected.
4. Foster Emotional Closeness
Sex means different things to different people; some could find it as a fun activity, whereas others could put more weight in it and want to share it with only their special someone.
Both sides should be equally respected. If your partner is someone who wants to develop an emotional connection before sex, then by all means, do attempt to make sure they feel cared for in the relationship.
There are many ways you can do this, but the best approach is to appease their love language.
For instance, if they like quality time, then set aside an afternoon to participate in shared hobbies with them. If they like physical touch, throw in some gentle caresses and hair-holding.
By making your partner comfortable, they can feel ready to share affection with you as well.
5. Consider Professional Guidance
Maintaining sexual desire is not easy if there’s a rift in the relationship or if one partner is facing low sexual desire.
Whatever the case, addressing the problem in sex therapy with a professional is a good way to potentially solve the problem.
Sex therapy is proven to be an effective way to improve sexual desires among low-libido individuals, which helps improve the sex lives of both partners involved.
Therapy can be done together (i.g. couples therapy) or one at a time. Whatever the case, these sessions can be helpful in mitigating sexual desire discrepancy among couples.
Improve Sexual Desire with Ft. Lauderdale, Florida’s Top Men’s Medical Center
Each partner’s sexual desire is a vital component in the equation of a happy romantic relationship. If there’s discrepancies in the sexual desire of couples, it will need to be approached with gentleness and care.
Ways couples can approach a difference in sexual desire is by talking with a doctor, scheduling sex, getting treated for low libido, finding other ways to be intimate, and improving their relationship.
Need medical assistance? We at Preferred Men’s Medical Center offer a variety of customized healthy living programs to help men out. We offer ED treatment, andropause treatment, medical weight loss therapy, among other programs.
What are you waiting for? Schedule a consultation with us to regain control of your sexual performance and have a more satisfying sex life today. Your initial consultation and first treatment are completely free.